Vegan Police

You can be a member of the vegan police or you can be a pragmatic results-oriented activist.
vegan police

If you’re someone who cares about the brutalization of farmed animals, you can focus on the big problem or the minuscule problem. The big problem, of course, is that worldwide upwards of 50 billion animals are slaughtered for food each year (nearly 9 billion animals in the United States alone.) The minuscule problem is that there are some near-vegans who insist on calling themselves vegan. The Vegan Police pour their limited energies into deciding who does and who does not deserve to be considered vegan.

If you want to get nit-picky (and the Vegan Police love to pick nits) nobody is truly vegan. Did you ever drive in a car? There were surely animal products used in its production. Do you wear contact lenses? At some point, they were tested on animals. When you walk down the street, are you using a Jain-style broom to brush any errant insects out of your path? You get the point.

So it all becomes a matter of drawing the line, and the Vegan Police invariably draw that line just south of wherever they’re at, in order to exclude as many people as possible. All of this invariably degenerates into a vegan-for-the-sake-of-vegan circle jerk, and an effort to make the vegan sainthood club as tiny and exclusionary as possible.

As it turns out, maybe the toughest part of being vegan is that you’ll invariably encounter the Vegan Police, who will write you up for one vegan violation or another. But pragmatism is the best revenge. Rather than embark on the pursuit of perfection, there’s an alternative. Why not focus your energies on creating change? Why not acknowledge the world is imperfect, and do your best to favorably impact as many animals as possible? Why not focus relentlessly on the bottom line, and make the entire point of your diet and advocacy be about inspiring the greatest possible change?

One way of doing this is to abandon perfectionism and to strive to keep as many animals from harm as possible. If you really want to demonstrate your passion for animals, why not focus on generating massive results? It’s entirely possible, for instance, for one dedicated activist, over a lifetime, to keep more than a million animals out of slaughterhouses.

To reach a lofty goal like this, it’s wise to read books by results-oriented animals advocates. Some of the best include Ethics Into Action, The Accidental Activist, and Meat Market. Nick Cooney’s Change of Heart is like a graduate-level textbook for people who want to reach the highest levels of effectiveness when doing advocacy on behalf of animals.


In the end, the Vegan Police actually inhibit the spread of veganism. But they are more than made up for by the growing legion of animal millionaires—results-oriented activists who each strive to keep huge numbers of animals from harm.