Subway’s Five Dollar Fuck You

If I was incapable of keeping my true thoughts to myself when ordering at a Subway restaurant, this is how I’d order:

I’d like a Veggie Delight, you know, the very worst sandwich deal you’ve got since it’s almost the price of a meat-based sandwich but only contains your pathetic vegetable selection. And since I’m vegan, I’d like you to screw me even further: please hold the cheese and mayo—the two most expensive ingredients on the sandwich—but be sure to charge me for them just like you always do. And while you’re at it, since I don’t eat honey, please serve my meal on your blood-sugar-spiking white bread.

This month, Subway has started treating its competition the way it treats its vegan customers. The chain is trying to enforce a trademark on the commonly-used “footlong” description.

There are two ways to succeed in business: one is to offer a better product than your competition, and the other is to get lawyers involved. It’s obvious which path Subway has chosen.

What a bunch of dicks. Link.

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